A pair of trousers that promises to make your midsection look like a bulging grocery sack of apples: I mean, at least you can’t accuse it of luring you in with false hope
Deep down, the trousers I truly love are the really boring ones. If I could save only two pairs of trousers from my wardrobe, I know exactly which ones they would be. A navy pair from Vanessa Bruno and a black pair by Gap. Both getting on for a decade old now. I know that if I am stuck for time or inspiration either of these will work, with white T-shirt and trainers or with a silk shirt and heels.
It’s not that I haven’t tried to be more adventurous, it’s just that it seldom works out. Palazzo-width trousers, for instance, always look a bit alternative therapy practitioner on me, when the look I was going for was more Venice Biennale.